My Buddy Mordecai
by davidjb100
Summary: Just your run-of-the-mill Regular Show fanfiction, told from the perspective of our favorite little raccoon.  MordecaiXRigby
1. Weird Friday

Well, it was Friday morning, and it was one of those summer days best spent indoors on account of the heat. But as usual, my buddy Mordecai and I were out doing chores—lawn mowing, to be exact. See, last week we did something stupid and Benson was pissed as usual, so he was working us to death to make up for it. Mordecai woke me up around five (the sun wasn't even up), and we set out to do chores all day.

Now, if you can believe this, Benson refuses to trust us with the riding mower. Instead, he gave us each a crappy push mower. Try mowing acres of grass with one of those things sometime! Trust me, it sucks.

Anyway, that's not the point of the story here. See, while we were mowing away, something weird happened. I couldn't stop watching Mordecai do his job. I don't know what it was—whether it was the sight of my bro hard at work or the craziness of the summer heat or what—but I just stared at him and smiled. I was really happy just to be there with him. I guess Mordecai noticed, because when I finally snapped out of it, he was standing in front of me with an angry look on his face.

"Dude! What the H?" he said.

"What bro?" I said back.

"You've been standing there in some weird voodoo trance for the last ten minutes!"

"Really?"

"Yeah, really… What's wrong?"

"I don't know. It's probably just the heat, man."

"Well, you wanna take a break?"

"Yeah, but if we stop now, we'll never get this done! And I'm sick of Benson calling us slackers."

"Well dude, I'll take care of it. You don't look so great."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, just go lay down or something."

So I left him and went back to the house for some Strong Johns to clear my head. After about an hour or so, he came in sweaty and exhausted, and he sat down on the couch next to me.

"Hey man, I think I'm gonna take a nap. I'm beat," he said.

"Yeah? Okay. You still up for movie night?"

He let out his trademark "yay-yeah" and then went off to bed. Friday night was movie night, but it occurred to me we still hadn't picked out something to watch. I definitely wasn't in the mood for Shy Guy again, so I went downtown to the video store.

Now, if you'll recall, the last time we watched a horror movie, things didn't turn out so great. It took me forever to get that stupid taxi out of my head! But still, I conquered my fear, and now, I figured, I could handle anything. So, like an idiot, I went straight to the horror section and picked out the cheesiest thing I could find.

_The Corpse Returns_. Just the name of the thing was ridiculous. But I'll admit, it creeped me out a bit. Basically, it's about a guy who gives his wife some potion and then murders her, just to see if the potion works. Well, work it does, and she comes back to life and murders her husband and half the townsfolk. Standard B-movie fare and all. And, as usual, Mordecai dozed off until the end.

Anyway, after that we went to bed—him on his mattress and me on my trampoline—and I fell asleep pretty quickly.

Sometime afterward, I woke up screaming and, though I hate to admit it, with tears streaming down my face. I quickly dried my eyes and prepared myself for Mordecai's wrath.

"UGH! Dude, I told you we shouldn't have watched that. You always get nightmares!"

Well, he heard my whimpering and looked to see what was wrong.

"Dude, are you…crying?"

"NO!" I said defensively.

"I'm sorry, man. Are you all right?"

"No! I had the worst nightmare ever."

A moment passed in silence, before I asked him something I would never normally ask.

"…Can I sleep with you?"

What was wrong with me? Why would I want to sleep with my bro?

"Uh, sure dude…"

After he said that, my heart started beating really fast and I had to struggle to keep from blushing. Something was wrong with me today, and I had to figure out what it was. Anyway, I hopped in bed with my bro. It was really awkward, as you might imagine. We had to keep from making physical contact, as that would be disgusting and all. But there was no way I was going to sleep, not after the dream I had.

It was not, as you might expect, about _The Corpse Returns_. I forgot some of the details, but this is basically how it went:

Mordecai was getting married to Margret. I was his best man and all, and I couldn't be happier for him. But then, after some time passed, I realized I was losing him. We didn't hang out anymore, and after they had kids, I was basically an afterthought. The last thing I remember was me being old and alone watching Mordecai and Margret from a distance.

While I was thinking about my dream, Mordecai rolled over in his sleep and was facing me. Unconsciously, he wrapped his arms around me and sort of snuggled against me. Now normally, I would be grossed out. But, for some reason, I enjoyed having him close to me. It was warm and his feathers were soft and I felt safe.

Yeah, something was definitely wrong.


	2. Margret

Now, the next day, Mordecai woke me up again, but this time by accident.

"UGH!" he shouted in disgust.

He pushed himself away from me and all was quiet for the next few moments. Finally, he broke the silence and asked if I wanted to go to the coffee shop. It was Saturday and we had the day off, so I figured we might as well.

Once we got there, we sat at our usual table and Margret came by to greet us. Mordecai was flustered like he always is when she's around. For some reason, though, I wasn't in a talkative mood. At least, not with Margret.

"Hey guys! What's up? she asked.

"Uh, hey Margret," Mordecai said stupidly.

"Hey Margret," I said dully.

"You guys seem out of it. How about some coffee to get you going?"

"Sure," I said.

Margret gave me a funny look and then walked off to get our coffee.

"So dude," Mordecai started, "What did you dream about last night? You seemed really upset."

"Oh, I can't really remember," I lied. "I think it had something to do with that movie."

"See? I told you! We've got to stop watching horror movies. You're too sensitive!"

"Psh… Whatever!"

"Anyway, sorry about this morning. I must of thought you were Margret or something. Heh."

For some reason, when he said that, my heart sank. I didn't have time to think about it, though, since Margret came back with a steaming pot of coffee.

"Here you go, guys."

"Thanks, Margret," Mordecai said.

The front door opened and the bell rang, so I turned around to see who'd walked in. It was some muscular-looking guy with a crappy mullet.

"Danny!" Margret said excitedly. She ran over to him and hugged him.

Well, that was one thing about Margret—she sure knew how to pick a winner. The two of them walked over to our table.

"Guys, this is my boyfriend, Danny."

"Nice to meet ya," Danny said half-heartedly.

Mordecai couldn't say anything. He was having a fit on the inside. So, Margret and Danny left us alone and went over to the counter.

"UGH! Every time!" Mordecai said.

"Dude, you just need to give it up on Margret. She doesn't get it."

"You just don't understand, man. I can't just give up on her."

"Why not?"

"You'll understand one day, Rigby."

I hated when he did that, when he treated me like a child. I knew what love was, I'd just never found that "special someone" like he had. Of course, now that I thought about it, Margret wasn't really _his_ special someone. She knew next to nothing about Mordecai! He deserved better…

"What are you thinking about, dude?"

I must have spaced out for a moment.

"Nothing important. Just thinking."

"About?"

"Well, to be honest, I feel bad for you, man. It isn't fair, the whole Margret thing, I mean."

"Just forget it. I don't need your sympathy."

"I'm just saying, maybe she's not _the one_, you know?"

"Dude, just shut up about Margret! What've you got against her, anyway?"

"Well, she hardly even knows you exist, dude! She doesn't know the first thing about you."

"Look Rigby. I'm glad you're concerned and all, but it's none of your business. I like Margret and I'll keep on liking Margret, so just stop trying to change things. I don't understand why you're so worried about it."

Truth be told, I didn't know why I was so worried about it either. What was it that made me so upset about Margret? She was nice enough and she had her lady-pecs and all. I just couldn't stand to see Mordecai hurt.

Anyway, we finished our coffee and we went back to the park to play some games. As usual, Mordecai beat me every time, but I didn't mind; I just liked playing games with my bro. After that, we tried in vain to find something to watch on TV, so we just lazed about on the couch. Mordecai must have still been exhausted from yesterday, because soon, he was out like a light. I just watched him for what seemed like hours. He was so fascinating—the constant up-and-down motion of his chest; his long, spindly bird-legs twitching about. I couldn't help but grin a bit when he woke up.

"Dude, what are you looking at?"

"Nothing, man. Just spacing out."

"You've been acting pretty weird lately…"

It's true, I had been acting pretty strange. And that night, as I lay on my trampoline, I tried to figure out why. Why was I so interested in my buddy? Was I just worried about him? Or was it something more?

Well, by three in the morning, I think I finally had the answer. It just pained me to admit it...


	3. Surprise

Well, needless to say, I couldn't sleep; my brain just wouldn't stop buzzing. My night was spent watching Mordecai in his sleep—his breathing and his twitching helped calm my nerves. The reason I felt so edgy was obvious: Mordecai wanted Margret. And as long as that was the case, I couldn't bear to tell him about how I felt. About how I loved him.

Even that was weird. Saying that I _loved_ him, and not just as my bro. Was I really, truly in love with… Mordecai? It just seemed so strange. And yet, the more I thought about it, the more sense it seemed to make. He'd always teased me about never having a girlfriend, or even showing interest in the opposite sex. He said I was probably just a "late bloomer", but maybe this was the real reason.

I guess I must've spent more time thinking about all this than I'd realized, because the sun was already coming up. Suddenly, a thought came to mind, and I ran downstairs to the kitchen. About half-an-hour later, Mordecai trudged drowsily down the stairs.

"Rigby? What smells so good?" he asked.

"I made waffles! Want some?"

"You…made breakfast?"

"Oh yeah!"

About five seconds passed before it registered. Then…

"Yay-yeah! Rigby, you rock!"

After a few celebratory fist pumps, we chowed down.

Now, even though it was Sunday, we had work to do. Benson wanted to teach us a lesson, so he only gave us Saturday off this week. After breakfast, we went out and picked up trash—normally, a bad way to start the morning. But afterwards, we went and sat on the bridge by the stream.

"So," Mordecai started, "what's up with you lately, man?"

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"You've been really weird lately."

"Have not!"

"Rigby, you made breakfast…"

"And…? I was just trying to do something nice for my bro!"

"All right…"

I wanted to tell him right then and there, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it.

"Hey Mordecai?"

"Yeah?"

"Well, I wanna ask you something."

"Uh huh…"

"Do you love Margret?"

"Ah, dude! Not cool. I thought we agreed not to talk about her."

"I know, but it's important to me."

"UGH! Fine, yes, all right? Of course I love her."

"Love _her_? Or just her lady-pecs?"

"Dude, no. You're starting to piss me off. Why are you so concerned about this?"

"It's just…"

"Just what, man?

"You deserve someone who cares about you, that's all. Someone who cares about your feelings and stuff."

"Dude, what are you talking about?"

"You deserve someone better than Margret!"

"UGH! Look man, I don't know if you're jealous or lonely or what, but this hating on Margret thing—it's gotta stop."

Silence. And then:

"I'm going back to the house. Come talk to me when you've grown up a little."

I waited until Mordecai was out of sight before I let go and started sobbing. This was pathetic! I had to stop beating around the bush…

Anyway, after an hour of crying and collecting my thoughts, I went back to the house, but Mordecai was nowhere to be found. I figured he went into town, so I left to go find him.

I probably shouldn't have been surprised to see him in the coffee shop chatting with Margret, but it just made me so angry inside. I sneaked in unannounced and tried to listen to their conversation a bit…

"Well, I don't know. He's been asking a lot of questions lately."

Was that really Mordecai? He never seemed able to talk to Margret like that when I was around…

"Yeah, well, maybe he's just worried about you," she responded.

"He shouldn't be. I can handle things on my own!"

"Well, it just seems like an awful lot of work to me."

"I know, but if I told him the truth, I don't know what he'd do! Knowing Rigby, he'd probably start tripping out."

"Well, you can't keep it a secret forever, Mordecai. Eventually, you're gonna have to tell him how you feel. We can't keep this whole routine up forever."

"Not forever! Just until I feel I'm ready!"

"And when will that be?"

"I don't know…"

Was he saying what he I think he was saying?

"Anyway, thanks for helping me out, Margret. It's really—"

He noticed me! I tried to look away, but he'd already seen me.

"R…Rigby? Dude, what are you doing here?"

_Crap!_

"When I went back to the house, you weren't there man. I figured you'd be here."

"Uh, all right… Were you spying on us?"

"N-no..."

"Rigby! Be honest, how much did you hear?

"Uh…"

"Rigby!"

"I heard enough, man."

"UGH!"

Mordecai got up and stormed off to the bathroom, leaving me alone with Margret. I had to know for sure.

"So Margret, are you telling me all this time, Mordecai's been pretending to like you?"

"Rigby, I'm not supposed to talk about it."

"Margret."

"Well, you see, Mordecai's really worried, Rigby. He has something he wants to tell you, but he's too afraid of what you'd think. I felt bad for him, so I agreed to help him out until he worked up the courage to let it out."

"Are you serious? Why doesn't he just tell me?"

"Well, go ask him to."

I went over to the bathroom and hesitated a bit before opening the door. When I walked in, I could hear Mordecai crying in a stall.

"Dude, what's wrong?"

"GO AWAY!"

"What's the deal, man? What're you trying to hide from me?"

"Just leave me alone…"

"No! I won't! You've gotta tell me, bro."

It was quiet for a moment, before he opened the stall door to look at me. His eyes were still watery.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, man. You can tell me anything."

He looked off to the side before saying, "You promise you won't flip out?"

"Fine, I promise! Just come on!"

"I sort of…"

"Yes?"

"I sort of like you, Rigby."

He started blushing and he didn't make eye contact.

"As in…?"

"As in I really like you. Like, _love_ you."

"But… what about Margret?"

"Margret's just a friend, dude. We've been friends since high school."

"So… all this time?"

"Yeah. I realized how I felt about a year ago, man. I asked Margret to keep it a secret, and I guess it worked pretty well."

I had to take a minute to let it all sink in. Could it really be true? Mordecai and I went to different high schools and all, so I guess he could've met Margret there. But still… It just seemed so bizarre.

"Why did you go through so much trouble to keep it a secret, man?"

"Because I didn't know how you'd take it! I'd rather keep it secret and still have my bro than lose you forever."

"I guess…"

Another pause.

"Well?"

"Well what?"

"Am I gonna lose you forever?"

I figured it was okay to tell him now.

"Really?"

"Yeah, dude. I feel the same way!"

Almost at once, my buddy Mordecai wrapped me up in a giant hug.

"I'm so happy, Rigby."

"So am I, man."

Anyway, that's just about the end of my story. See, we agreed to keep it under wraps for a bit, just until we were ready to let everyone else know. I'd imagine Muscle Man would never let us hear the end of it, not that he's doing so hot himself with Starla and all. But I guess it doesn't really matter. We're happy, and that's what matters.


End file.
